Hopelessly Tone Deaf Trying to Serenade
by Pepsi Quest
Summary: How Fergus tried to be romantic to win his wife s heart and how Elinor learned to enjoy a drinking song. My first, and probably only, romance story so enjoy it or don t it s really up to the reader.


Hopelessly Tone Deaf Trying to Serenade

**I don't even own a DVD copy of this movie. Don't sue me. Suing bad.**

In the beginning, when their marriage was still young, she wouldn't deny that she had no say in who she married or that it was her idea. She would, however, subtly change the subject or word her answer so that she didn't speak ill of her husband. Speaking ill of her husband was improper and frowned upon, she prided herself on having impeccable manners, she was always composed and no matter what she always seemed to be the embodiment of beauty and grace.

Her husband was another story. He was big, loud and was constantly bang into things and, or, knocking them over. When he ate his mouth was always open, spraying food everywhere when he spoke and she wasn't sure if he even had the words 'eating utensils' in his vocabulary. In front of large groups of people, without a drink in hand, he stumbled and stuttered out words like a common drunkard of a fool, with a drink in hand, he belted out drinking songs as if it was what he lived for.

He was so different from her, she was sure their marriage would never be more than a means to reproduce. His behavior was so unacceptable to her she had to put up walls around to keep his stupidity from making her lash out at him. It was the only way, she knew how Scottish men could be, but he went well oven the top. He knew all the slang, was either in a kilt or naked, slept with a claymore, drank someone under the table at least once a week and told the most foul of jokes. Their days were spent having awkward meals together, tending to their respective duties and even more awkward nights together. Rather uncomfortable and undesirable, but predictable.

One night, in their dinning room, he did something unexpected.

He sang without the aid of alcohol. He was still hopelessly tone-deaf.

_Well, a Scotsman clad in kilt left a bar one evening fair,_

_and one could tell by how he walked that he drunk more than his share.._

_He fumbled round until he could no longer keep his feet,_

_then he stumbled off into the grass to sleep beside the street._

He grabbed her by the waist and led her into a fast paced dance. They hadn't danced since their wedding.

_Ring ding diddle diddle I de oh ring di diddly I oh!_

_He stumbled off into the grass to sleep beside the street._

_About that time two young and lovely girls just happened by,_

_and one says to the other with a twinkle in her eye,_

_'See yon sleeping Scotsman so strong and handsome build._

_I wonder if it's true what they don't wear beneath the kilt.' _

He spun her around and around until she was stumbling just as bad as him. She was both annoyed and slightly embarrassed.

_Ring ding diddle diddle I de oh ring di diddly I oh!_

_I wonder if it's true what they don't wear beneath the kilt._

_They crept up on that sleeping Scotsman quiet as could be,_

_lifted up his kilt an inch so they could see._

_And there behold, for them to view, beneath his Scottish skirt,_

_was nothing more than God had graced with upon his birth._

_Ring ding diddle diddle I de oh ring di diddly I oh!_

_Was nothing more than God had graced with upon his birth._

He lifter her up and spun more. She wouldn't believe it, she was actually enjoying herself.

_They marvelled for a moment, then one said 'We must be gone,_

_let's leave a present for our friend,before we move a long.'_

_As a gift they left a blue silk ribbon, tied into a bow,_

_around the bonnie star, the Scots kilt did lift and show._

_Ring ding diddle diddle I de oh ring di diddly I oh!_

_Around the bonnie star, the Scots kilt did lift and show._

He stopped spinning and led her around the room just as quickly as before. It wasn't noticeable, and he would have missed it if he hadn't spent months looking at her beautiful, yet stoney face, but she let the tiniest of smiles grace her lips.

_Now the Scotsman woke to nature's call and stumbled toward a tree,_

_behind the bush, he lifts his kilt and gawks at what he sees._

_And in a startled voice to what's before his eyes._

_'O lad I don't know where you been, but I see you won first prize.'_

_Ring ding diddle diddle I de oh ring di diddly I oh!_

_O lad I don't know where you been, but I see you won first prize!_

She laughed and rested her head on his chest, he didn't know it at the time, but he had bumbled right into her heart. That night the loud, big, bumbling, Scottish fool officially became her loud, big, bumbling, Scottish fool.

And the Scotsman diffidently won his prize.

**Yeah, I have no idea where this came from, I never wrote something based on romance before, I was just listening to this song and thought Fergus would_ so_ sing this. For the readers reading Dragon Prince I've been writing in between study sessions. Again. Happy Make Single, Lonely People More Depressed Day!**

**Pepsi out.**


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